International experience mba essay sample - IdmcrackfreedownloadInfo

International experience mba essay sample


PQ Logo
Read Three Harvard MBA Essays
  • Share on Facebook
  • Share on Twitter
  • Share on LinkedIn
  • Poets&Quants on RSS
  • Print this page
  • Email this page

Register for FREE Premium Content

PQ Logo

Today’s Featured Schools
Rice-MBA-logo

Read Three Harvard MBA Essays

by: John A. Byrne
on August 30, 2017 |
4 Comments
166,944 Views

August 30, 2017

A soldier who served on the front lines in Afghanistan. A process engineer challenged by a long series of early failures. And a female consultant whose passion became healthcare.

Three MBA applicants to Harvard Business School last year. Three students in the newest crop of MBA students at Harvard this fall. All of them answered the question now being asked of 2017-2018 applicants to Harvard: As we review your application, what more would you like us to know as we consider your candidacy for the Harvard Business School MBA program?

The school provides minimal guidance for applicants trying to make an impression. “There is no word limit for this question,” advises HBS admissions. “We think you know what guidance we’re going to give here. Don’t over think, overcraft and overwrite. Just answer the question in clear language that those of us who don’t know your world can understand.”

Each of the three applicants above wrote a clear and compelling essay in their applications, essays that Poets&Quants is reprinting with permission from the MBA Essay Guide Summer 2017 Edition recently published by The Harbus, the MBA student newspaper at Harvard Business School. The guide contains 39 essays written by successful candidates who are now starting the MBA program at HBS. Proceeds from the sale of the guidebook go to benefit the non-profit foundation that supports The Harbus.

With application deadlines rapidly approaching at Harvard Business School and many other prestige MBA programs, these successful essays will, no doubt, give current candidates a bit of guidance. More importantly, the essays that follow are most likely to provide comfort, that there is no formula or singular way to craft a successful answer.

THREE SUCCESSFUL ESSAYS. THREE VERY DIFFERENT APPROACHES.

The latest edition of the MBA Essay Guide from The Harbus costs $61.49

In his 1,130-word essay, the U.S. Army applicant ties together his experiences of leading soldiers on the front line in Afghanistan together with staff postings in Army operations and logistics to paint a portrait of a dedicated and people-oriented leader.

Inspired by a selfless act from her nine-year-old mentee, this management consultant decided to challenge herself to make an impact in healthcare. In a 937-word essay, she uses a particularly difficult turnaround situation which she was put in charge of as exemplifying her strongest skills: building relationships and uniting people around a common goal.

In a 1,358-essay, a process engineer opens up to a long series of failures in his early life. By showing both vulnerability and honesty, he is able to transform this list of fruitless endeavors into a credible “badge of honor,” evidence of his resilience, determination and strength of character. It quickly becomes apparent that what appeared to be failures in the first half, actually proved to be successes or openings for new opportunities, given enough time and perseverance.

ONE APPLICANT DID 25 DRAFTS BEFORE COMING UP WITH ONE SHE LIKED ENOUGH TO SUBMIT

Behind every MBA application is a person and a story, and in this trio of representative essays the approaches taken by each candidate is as different as the essays they submitted to the admissions committee at HBS.

The engineer went through took eight drafts over two months. “I thought about what personal traits I wanted to share with the ADCOM and identified stories from my past that identified those traits,” he explains. “After two or three drafts, I’d figured out the right narrative and kept refining it, taking as much as a week to finalize each draft. My best advice is to be honest, start early, and have someone who knows what the ADCOMS are looking for to read through a couple of your drafts and give you pointers.”

The consultant estimates that she went through 25 drafts to get to her final version. “I think the most important thing with the essay is to iterate,” she advises. “Because the question is so open-ended, it is important to reflect as much as possible and give yourself the time (in my case two months) to go on the journey necessary to realize what you care most about communicating and how to do so in the most effective way. I also cannot overstate the importance of finding someone who will give you honest feedback.

(See on the following pages the complete and full MBA essays submitted to Harvard Business School)

Tagged: examples of Harvard Business School essays , examples of MBA application essays , HBS essays

  • Search
    Poets&Quants on Twitter
    Poets&Quants on RSS Feed
    Poets&Quants on Facebook
    Poets&Quants on LinkedIn
    Poets&Quants on Soundcloud

    Stay Informed. Sign Up!
    Login
    Logout

  • Sponsored Blogs

    Insider Tips For Wharton’s Team Based Discussion

    Insider Tips For Wharton’s Team Based Discussion

    by Judith Silverman Hodora, Director, Fortuna Admissions
    (10 hours ago)


    3 Tools To Help You Determine B-School Fit

    3 Tools To Help You Determine B-School Fit

    by Linda Abraham, founder of Accepted Admissions Consulting.
    (1 day ago)


    How To Define Your Post-MBA Goals

    How To Define Your Post-MBA Goals

    by Linda Abraham, founder of Accepted Admissions Consulting.
    (2 days ago)


    Wharton MBA Team Based Discussion (TBD) Advice

    Wharton MBA Team Based Discussion (TBD) Advice

    by Travis Morgan, Veritas Prep
    (1 week ago)


    Personal MBA Coach’s MBA Interviewing 101

    Personal MBA Coach’s MBA Interviewing 101

    by Scott Edinburgh, founder of Personal MBA Coach
    (1 month ago)


    Make A Great Impression At MBA Admissions Receptions

    Make A Great Impression At MBA Admissions Receptions

    by Karen Marks, president and founder of North Star Admissions Consulting
    (3 months ago)

  • Air Time Most Recent Comments

    Submitted By: Malvern

    Nov 7, 2018 | Read Article

    IMD is bucking the trend of falling application volume. But …

    Submitted By: PAQ117

    Nov 7, 2018 | Read Article

    Thanks for your reply. I guess what I’m reacting to …

    Submitted By: Kreis10

    Nov 7, 2018 | Read Article

    Good point. I concur that P&Q got it wrong with …

    Submitted By: John A. Byrne

    Nov 7, 2018 | Read Article

    IMD. All the data came directly from the schools unless …

    Submitted By: hbsguru.com

    Nov 7, 2018 | Read Article

    some apps actually have Q’s asking if you have visited. …

  • From the Archives View More
    • 10 Business Schools To Watch In 2018
    • Best Free MOOCs In Business In March
    • The Entire Meet The Class Of 2019 Series
    • How Business School Deans Would Change MBA Rankings
    • MBA Scholarships At Top Business Schools

Our Partner Sites: Poets&Quants for Execs | Poets&Quants for Undergrads | Tipping the Scales | We See Genius

Close

2019 preMBA

Fall 2019 MBA ADMIT?

Find out how to land your dream job now that you’re competing with the best of the best.

Register Now

2019 preMBA
2019 preMBA
2019 preMBA

Quantcast

philosophyphilosophyphilosophyphilosophy
philosophy

Sample MBA Admissions
Essays

EssayEdge
offers all users free access to over 100 admissions essays accepted
by the United States’ top undergraduate, graduate, and professional
programs. The following Sample Admissions Essays were accepted
by Anderson and UCLA.

Contact by Email Go Home! Search Indices Go Back!
     

EssayEdge

philosophy
philosophy Home:
Writing Admissions Essays:
Sample MBA Essay
philosophy
philosophyphilosophyphilosophyphilosophy
 
Sample
MBA Admissions Essays – Accepted by Anderson and UCLA (Courtesy
of EssayEdge )

What do
you consider to be your most important personal and professional
accomplishments to date? (Please limit to three.)

With
no money, no direction, and no goals, I graduated from high
school in 1987 not knowing if I would ever be a man, if
I would ever know what life means. Unable to afford college
tuition, I worked odd jobs for a few months before deciding
to join the United States Marine Corps. A scrappy kid who
needed structure and support, I entered the Marines unprepared
for the next thirteen weeks of extraordinary physical and
mental challenges.

Arriving
at the recruit-training depot in Parris Island South Carolina
on February 3,1988 not knowing what to expect, I watched
my hair fall off my head, had vaccinations for every disease
ever discovered, and learned to live with sixty other young
men in close quarters. The days were long. I would wake
up at 4 a.m. and work nonstop for 18 hours until I could
collapse on my bed. Exposed to individuals from many different
cultural and economic backgrounds, I learned the value of
teamwork and the work ethic essential to leadership. When
we first arrived on the island, my platoon was a jumbled
mess of disobedient, out of shape, undisciplined boys. After
three months of exhausting training we were molded into
a group of highly motivated, physically fit men. On the
proudest day of my life, I marched in the graduation parade
to become a United States Marine.

After
being discharged from the United States Marine Corps, I
became determined to attain an electrical engineering degree
from Florida State University. I wisely invested in the
GI Bill early on in my Marine Corps career in order to go
to college. Although a substantial amount of money, the
GI Bill only covered my tuition; to pay for food and rent,
I took a full time job with the VA work-study program. In
the beginning I had difficulty adjusting to working full
time while maintaining a full coarse load, and I began to
feel hindered by my years outside the classroom. However,
determined to succeed, I learned to manage my time well,
and I established good study habits, which have continued
to the present. In the spring of 1997 I obtained a Bachelors
degree in Electrical engineering, a full year ahead of schedule.
I take pride in the fact that I am the first person in my
family to obtain a college degree.

I moved
to Los Angeles after graduating from college and accepted
a position at an aerospace company as a design engineer.
Although I had multiple offers, I chose to work at my particular
company to further my education. Putting in long hours at
work while devoting most of my personal time to obtaining
a Masters degree in electrical engineering, I felt like
I was in college again with my full time job and academic
responsibilities. To keep some sense of sanity and maintain
good spirits, I decided to learn how to snowboard. Although
at first snowboarding seemed a most impossible mission given
the long drive to the resort and my inexperience with cold
weather, I persevered and by the end of my first day could
navigate my way down the mountain. I have since become an
accomplished snowboarder, but nothing matches the exhilaration
I felt at the end of that first day when I completed my
first run without falling.

Why
have you decided to enter the Fully Employed MBA program?
Why is it the appropriate time for you to begin?

With
the drive, determination, and discipline to both work at
my career and attend an MBA program, I am excited to pursue
a high quality MBA at UCLA. Interested in acquiring the
skill set and technical knowledge necessary to become a
hi-tech consultant, the UCLA program will prove central
to my future success.

As an
engineering major in college, I developed excellent analytical
skills and improved my problem-solving ability, but I never
had the opportunity to take courses exploring business strategy,
finance, or market forces. To realize my career goal, I
clearly must enhance my abilities in these as well as other
areas of business. I believe that the management core at
Anderson will provide me with the necessary knowledge to
enhance and develop my capabilities. Also, in order to become
a successful consultant, it is imperative that I gain a
more thorough education in foreign markets, business technology,
and competition. As a hi-tech consultant in the twenty-first
century, the ability to understand business on a global
scale will be highly prized. The International Field Study
at Anderson would suit my needs well by allowing students
to learn about business by working with foreign companies.

Moreover,
I look forward to interacting with the highly qualified,
diverse students of the Anderson FEMBA program. With only
132 students forming numerous study groups, the program
ensures the intimacy necessary to learn from each other’s
varying perspectives and backgrounds. I know I could both
contribute and grow in this unique environment where all
students are fully employed. From my time as an officer
in US Marine Corps and as an employee at a high-tech aerospace
company, I have both developed strong team abilities and
have seen the value and synergies of combining people with
different backgrounds, knowledge, and experience levels.
The dynamics created by these teams help produce the most
innovative and creative ideas, whether in the Marines or
an Anderson classroom.

While
I will never regret joining the Marine Corps, the five years
I spent serving my country led me off the beaten path for
achieving my career goals. Although I developed a strong
work ethic and a goal-oriented nature, I have not followed
the standard path. The FEMBA program will be the great equalizer,
ensuring future employers that I have both the personal
qualities and rigorous academic training necessary for success.
By working full time and working on my masters degree in
engineering from the University of Southern California,
I have shown that I have what it takes to manage my work
schedule while attending a prestigious institution. Now,
I seek only the opportunity to prove this again by being
admitted to the Fully Employed MBA program. AT UCLA, I will
start my way down the path that will lead me to career success
and fulfillment as a hi-tech consultant.

For
access to 100 free sample successful admissions essays,
visit EssayEdge
.

line
Sample Application
and Admissions Essays:
  • Sample
    Admissions Essay – Cornell
  • Sample
    Admissions Essay – Darthmouth
  • Sample
    Admissions Essay – Harvard
  • Sample
    Admissions Essay – Princeton
  • Sample
    Admissions Essay – Stanford
  • Sample
    Business School Essay – Wharton
  • Sample
    Business School Essay – Tuck
  • Sample
    Business School Essay – Columbia
  • Sample
    MBA Essay – Anderson
  • Sample
    MBA Essay – NYU
  • Sample
    MBA Essay – Stern
  • Sample
    MBA Essay – UCLA
  • Sample
    MBA Essay – Harvard
  • Sample
    Admissions Essay – Med School
  • Sample
    Admissions Essay – Med School
  • Sample
    Admissions Essay – Law School
  • Sample
    Admissions Essay – Law School
Admissions
Essay Writing 101

Used
by admissions officers to decide between two (or even two
hundred) candidates with almost identical profiles, the
application essay is often the only guide admissions officers
have of your ambition, personality, and interests. As a
result, your essay must be unique, captivating, and informative.
Try the free online entrance essay course offered by Essay
Edge and Cyber Edit. Named "the world’s premier application
essay editing service" by The New York Times,
EssayEdge has helped more applicants write successful application
essays than any other company in the world.

This
course offers extensive advice on how to write outstanding
admissions essays.

Click
HERE for Admissions Essay Writing 101

spacer Up! spacer
cornerspacerspacercorner
GMAT Question of the Day – Daily to your Mailbox; hard ones only
close


 


0

0

1

 

 

My Profile
Logout

Test’s Subscription Expires:

    • Settings
    • E-mail & Password
    • Avatar
    • Signature
    • Notification Settings
    • Global Settings
    • Applicant profile
    • Update status
    • My GMAT info
    • My Schools
    • My workspace
    • My Bookmarks
    • My Notes
    • Subscription Feed

    My Follow Feed
    Kudos
    My Error Log

    Messages and Replies

    Settings
    Mark All Read

    See All

    Applicant Notifications

    Settings
    Mark All Read

    See All

    Global notifications

    Settings
    Mark All Read

    See All


    You are here:

    Forum Home

    Business School and MBA

    The B-School Application

    It is currently 07 Nov 2018, 21:13

    Register

    GMAT Club Tests

    Decision Tracker

    My Rewards


    New posts

    Unanswered


    Close

    GMAT Club Daily Prep

    Thank you for using the timer – this advanced tool can estimate your performance and suggest more practice questions. We have subscribed you to Daily Prep Questions via email.

    Customized
    for You

    we will pick new questions that match your level based on your Timer History

    Track
    Your Progress

    every week, we’ll send you an estimated GMAT score based on your performance

    Practice
    Pays

    we will pick new questions that match your level based on your Timer History

    Not interested in getting valuable practice questions and articles delivered to your email? No problem, unsubscribe here .

    Go to My Error Log
    Learn more

    Hello Guest!

    It appears that you are browsing the GMAT Club forum unregistered!

    Signing up is free, quick, and confidential.
    Join 700,000+ members and get the full benefits of GMAT Club

    Registration gives you:

    • Tests

      Take 11 tests and quizzes from GMAT Club and leading GMAT prep companies such as Manhattan Prep. All are free for GMAT Club members.

    • Applicant Stats

      View detailed applicant stats such as GPA, GMAT score, work experience, location, application
      status, and more

    • Books/Downloads

      Download thousands of study notes,
      question collections, GMAT Club’s
      Grammar and Math books.
      All are free!

    and many more benefits!

    • Register now! It`s easy!
    • Already registered? Sign in!

    Close

    Request Expert Reply

    Please wait…

    Confirm
    Cancel


    • By  

    Events & Promotions


    • By  
    Events & Promotions in June

    Open Detailed Calendar

    CLICK HERE TO HIDE/SHOW EVENTS

    CLICK HERE TO HIDE/SHOW EVENTS


    What NOT to Include in Your MBA Application Essays

     

    new topic

    post reply


    Update application status

     
     
    Sort by Date

    Sort by Kudos

     
     

    Print view

    First unread post

    AuthorMessage

    TAGS:

    Hide Tags

    Add a Tag


    mbaMissionJenK

    mbaMission Admissions Consultant

    User avatar

    S

    Joined: 25 Apr 2013
    Posts: 2995



    What NOT to Include in Your MBA Application Essays 

    [ #permalink ]


    Show Tags



    New post  09 Jul 2013, 01:04

    29

    29

    What NOT to Include in Your MBA Application Essays

    There are certainly a lot of things you should include when writing your MBA application essays, but some things you should definitely not include. Here are a few:

    False claims of uniqueness

    “The semester I spent in France during high school was a unique experience.”
    “I want to attend Columbia Business School because of its unique Entrepreneurial Club.”
    “The opportunity to do hands-on consulting at Ross is unique.”
    “My finance background and strong interpersonal skills will allow me to make a unique contribution to Cornell’s Investment Management Club.”

    One of mbaMission ’s consultants recently counted five uses of the word “unique” in a single 600-word essay. What is more, not one of the uses actually fulfilled the term’s correct definition: “existing as the only one or as the sole example.” Applicants tend to use the word “unique” as a way of trying to make themselves stand out to the admissions committee. However, because they use the word imprecisely—and often too frequently—it instead has the opposite effect of making the essay lose its distinctiveness and believability. Another danger of using the term too casually is that you risk exposing your lack of research about the school if you claim something is unique to its program when it really is not.

    Here are the same four statements written without the generic term “unique.” In each case, the sentence is far more descriptive and therefore much less likely to appear in any other applicant’s essay!

    “The semester I spent in France during high school was eye-opening, from the frogs’ legs I was served at dinner to the concept of shopping daily for my food.”
    “I want to attend Columbia Business School because its Entrepreneurial Club offers an incredible range of activities and resources that will prepare me to better run my own company.”
    “The opportunity to do hands-on consulting at Ross will complement the theoretical background I will gain by taking classes on consulting.”
    “My finance background and strong interpersonal skills will allow me to effectively coach and mentor classmates new to finance through Cornell’s Investment Management Club’s mentorship program.”

    Platitudes

    Many business school candidates unwittingly start their essays with platitudes—obvious or trite remarks that are written as though they were original. For example, when responding to Harvard Business School’s essay question “Tell us about a time when you made a difficult decision,” a candidate might write the following:

    “Managers constantly face difficult decisions. Still, everyone hates indecision.”
    However, the applicant does not “own” this idea and cannot lay claim to this statement. A simple alternative would be to insert his or her personal experience and viewpoint into the sentence:

    “Yet again, I was in the boardroom with Steve, anticipating that he would change his mind on the mbaMission file.”
    By discussing your personal and unique experiences, you take ownership of your story and better engage your reader. Avoiding platitudes and generalities—and ensuring that you are sharing your experience and opinion, rather than one that could belong to anyone else—is a simple but often overlooked step in creating a compelling message.

    Too many sentences starting with the word “I”

    Although putting yourself at the center of the stories in your MBA application essays is certainly important, a common mistake business school candidates make is beginning too many sentences with the word “I.” As a general rule, you should never have two sentences in a row that begin this way. Consider the following example:

    “I worked for three years at ABC Plastics, a small injection molding company. I was responsible for overseeing the overall management of ABC Plastics, from day-to-day operations to strategic planning. I managed 100 people. I worked very long hours, but I learned more than I could have ever imagined.”

    Now consider the same statement reworked to avoid using the word “I” at the beginning of subsequent sentences:

    “For three years, I worked at ABC Plastics, a small injection molding company. My responsibilities at ABC included overseeing the overall management of the company, from day-to-day operations to strategic planning. Because I supervised more than 100 staff members, my days were long, but the experience taught me more than I could have ever imagined.”

    As you can see, the second example reads much better than the first—and none of the sentences in the second example begin with “I.”

    The abbreviation “etc.”

    As a general rule, “etc.” should never appear in your MBA application essays. Consider the following sentences:

    “I helped draft prospectuses, analyze key company data, value companies, etc.”

    “I look forward to courses such as ‘Small Business Management,’ ‘Leading Teams,’ ‘Multiparty Negotiations,’ etc.”

    In the first sample sentence, “etc.” replaces information that if of interest to the admissions reader and that he or she would use to evaluate the writer. The reader cannot make the leap and understand where the writer’s experiences led. In the second example, “etc.” trivializes the school’s resources and may even suggest to the admissions committee that the applicant is just too lazy (or disinterested!) to properly do his or her homework.
    We are at a loss to think of one instance in which “etc.” could be used appropriately in a business school application essay. Very simply, ensure that this term does not appear in your essays.

    Extreme descriptions

    Our philosophy at mbaMission is that candidates should let the experiences they share in their essays—not their word choices—captivate the admissions committees. Sometimes we find that applicants attempt to emphasize their actions with “extreme” adjectives and adverbs, and we strongly discourage this approach. Consider the following example:

    “As others withdrew their support, I remained remarkably dedicated to our crucial fundraising efforts. I dramatically increased my participation in our strategic planning meetings and insisted
    that we push forward with a wildly creative guerrilla marketing plan, which brought forth tremendous results—$1M in ‘instant’ proceeds.”

    In these two sentences, the writer uses the descriptors remarkably, dramatically, wildly and tremendous in an attempt to make an impression on the reader. We find that a more effective approach is to eliminate these “extreme” descriptions and let the experiences do the “talking.”

    “As others withdrew their support, I remained dedicated to our fundraising efforts. I increased my participation in our strategic planning meetings and insisted that we push forward with a guerrilla marketing plan that brought $1M in ‘instant’ proceeds.”

    In this second example, we do not need to be told that the results were “tremendous,” because the $1M speaks for itself; we do not need to be told that the marketing campaign was “wildly creative,” because this is implied in the nature of guerrilla marketing. In addition to showing a level of humility on the part of the candidate, this approach is less wordy. Although the eight words saved in the latter example may seem inconsequential, we removed them from only two sentences. If we can remove four words from each and every sentence, we would be able to augment your essay with other compelling ideas.

    Arrogance

    Business school candidates often fret about striking the right balance between confidence and arrogance in their MBA application essays. For example, you might have difficulty choosing the better choice from between the following two statements:

    “At the Stanford GSB, I will take advantage of the newly designed curriculum to…”
    “At the Stanford GSB, I would take advantage of the newly designed curriculum to…”

    Or between these two statements:

    “After completing my MBA at Harvard Business School, I will pursue a career in…”
    “After completing my MBA at Harvard Business School, I would aspire to a career in…”

    In each set of examples, you are choosing between certainty (“I will”) and diplomacy (“I would”). Considering these options, you might ask yourself whether the first option is too presumptuous or the second option too weak. The answer is that neither of these examples is “right”; each candidate needs to choose an approach that is consistent with his or her personality. However, the key is to maintain consistency—mixing the two styles is distracting to the reader and can seem sloppy.

    Repetition

    Recently, a prospective business school candidate emailed mbaMission with the following question: “What is the most basic stylistic error that candidates make when writing their MBA application essays?” Our answer: unnecessary repetition. Although repeating a word within a single sentence or in consecutive sentences does not constitute a grammatical mistake, it can still be grating to a reader’s “ear.”
    Consider this example:

    “During my time at XYZ Sales, I increased productivity by 31% and increased revenue by 21%. Meanwhile, I increased my client base by an industry-leading 81%, bringing increased prestige to my firm.”

    Although this example—which uses the word “increased” four times in just two sentences—may seem like an exaggerated case, it is actually not as rare as you might think. However, the repetition can be easily eliminated and the sentences made increasingly reader friendly with just a few simple changes:

    “During my time at XYZ Sales, I increased productivity by 31% and revenue by 21%. Meanwhile, I grew my client base by an industry-leading 81%, thereby enhancing my firm’s prestige.”

    The key to eliminating repetition is to first become aware of the potential problem and then gain distance from your work. If you step away from your essay drafts for a day or two and then go back to reread them, you will have the objectivity necessary to catch—and correct—this easily avoidable mistake.

    Mentions of rankings

    In your essays and interviews, you should thoroughly demonstrate your interest in your target program by developing and presenting arguments that center on the school’s academic and environmental attributes (e.g., research institutes, professors, experiential learning opportunities, classes, pedagogies)—but do not identify the school’s position in the various MBA rankings as a reason for applying. Although applicants, administrators, students and alumni all pay tremendous attention to rankings, within your application, the topic is entirely taboo.
    Why is this? Rankings are a measure of a school’s reputation and tend to fluctuate from year to year. By citing rankings, you indicate that you could (or would) be dissatisfied by a drop in your target school’s prestige, as conveyed by such rankings—a drop that would be out of the school’s control and that, from the school’s perspective, could ostensibly put your relationship as a future student (and later as an alumnus/alumna) at risk. Further, MBA programs want to be sure that you are attracted to their various academic offerings and that you have profound professional needs that they can satisfy. Rankings, however, are superficial, and referencing them in your application materials undermines the profundity of your research and motives.

    Have questions about applying to business school? Sign up for a free, 30-minute, one-one-one consultation with an mbaMission senior consultant at www.mbamission.com/consult.php .

    _________________

    Jen Kedrowski
    mbaMission

    Website: http://www.mbamission.com
    Blog: http://www.mbamission.com/blog
    mbaMission Insiders Guides: http://www.mbamission.com/guides.php?category=insiders
    Free Consultation: http://www.mbamission.com/consult.php

    Image


    bagdbmba

    Retired Moderator

    avatar
    Joined: 27 Aug 2012
    Posts: 1090

    Premium Member



    Re: What NOT to Include in Your MBA Application Essays 

    [ #permalink ]


    Show Tags



    New post  13 Jul 2013, 12:23

    Great article Jen…Really helpful!

    +1 from me :)

    A quick question- in the ‘Arrogance’ part as you’ve mentioned that " neither of these examples is “right”" I think there isn’t any other option but these two to write…Am I correct? Do you suggest any alternative?

    P.S: Can you share the link for mbaMission ‘s Essay analysis for this year?

    _________________

    UPDATED : e-GMAT SC Resources-Consolidated || ALL RC Resources-Consolidated || ALL SC Resources-Consolidated || UPDATED : AWA compilations-109 Analysis of Argument Essays || GMAC’s IR Prep Tool

    Calling all Columbia (CBS) MBA Applicants: (2018 Intake) Class of 2020 !!! NEW !!!

    GMAT Club guide – OG 11-12-13 || Veritas Blog || Manhattan GMAT Blog

    KUDOS please, if you like the post or if it helps :-)


    gmatbugsme84

    Senior Manager
    Senior Manager

    User avatar
    Joined: 17 Sep 2013
    Posts: 343



    Re: What NOT to Include in Your MBA Application Essays 

    [ #permalink ]


    Show Tags



    New post  20 Jul 2014, 17:05

    +1 kudos to bump this up. Any more suggestions on what to avoid in essays?

    _________________

    My GMAT Debrief | My ISB 2015 Interview


    gmatbugsme84

    Senior Manager
    Senior Manager

    User avatar
    Joined: 17 Sep 2013
    Posts: 343



    Re: What NOT to Include in Your MBA Application Essays 

    [ #permalink ]


    Show Tags



    New post  20 Jul 2014, 17:06

    1

    MBAbot wrote:
    Hello from the GMAT Club MBAbot!

    Thanks to another GMAT Club member, I have just discovered this valuable topic, yet it had no discussion for over a year. I am now bumping it up – doing my job. I think you may find it valuable (esp those replies with Kudos).

    Want to see all other topics I dig out? Follow me (click follow button on profile). You will receive a summary of all topics I bump in your profile area as well as via email.

    Woah… The Bot just bumped up this topic seconds before I did… THE MACHINES ARE WATCHING US!!!! WAITING……. :shock:

    _________________

    My GMAT Debrief | My ISB 2015 Interview


    MBAIvy

    Admission Consultant

    User avatar

    B

    Status: Harvard Alum
    Affiliations: Harvard University
    Joined: 30 Nov 2013
    Posts: 211
    Location: United States (NY)



    Re: What NOT to Include in Your MBA Application Essays 

    [ #permalink ]


    Show Tags



    New post  20 Jul 2014, 18:05

    1

    I want to add the overuse (in my opinion just use) of the word "passion." I’m a former Harvard interviewer and cannot stand to read the word PASSION over and over again, as it is actually very non-descript. Instead, tell us WHY you are driven, inspired, motivated, etc by a field or industry — tell us your action versus just using a very overused (and hollow sounding word).

    Using it once is perfectly fine. Using it 3-4 times…you’re going in the pile you don’t want to go in.

    [I’m a former Harvard admissions interviewer, and a Harvard grad. I currently run the firm MBA Ivy League, at www.MBAIvyLeague.com ]

    _________________

    I’m a former Harvard admissions interviewer and Harvard grad, and currently run the award-winning MBA & EMBA admission firm and blog: http://www.MBAIvyLeague.com . Check out the blog and contact me for a free consultation today!


    AskDreamMBA

    Intern
    Intern

    User avatar
    Affiliations: DreamMBA Inc.
    Joined: 15 Jul 2014
    Posts: 49
    Location: United States
    Schools: HBS ’16 , INSEAD (M)
    GMAT 1: 760 Q51 V41

    GPA: 3.94
    WE: Consulting (Consulting)



    Re: What NOT to Include in Your MBA Application Essays 

    [ #permalink ]


    Show Tags



    New post  23 Jul 2014, 16:16

    Very useful discussion. I would like to add:

    1. Indians Engineers who mention that getting into IIT was one of the biggest achievements of their lives. Yes. It is difficult to enter IITs. But a reasonable number of Indian applicants to top 10 schools are IIT graduates. It offers zero differentiation against the competition.

    2. Applicants with 760 GMAT score wasting space in paragraphs mentioning that they are strong in quant. Well guys, if you score 760, adcom already know that you have quantitative and reasoning skills. Use precious "essay real estate" to offer more value.

    3. Having extra-curriculars as "check marks" with no details on the motivation or connection for that extra-curricular activity with you. e.g. what motivated you to join that animal rights NGO focusing on shelter dogs based in Norway while you were working in Japan and whaling was probably an issue closer to home. (It is just a rough example. I hope you got the drift.)


    MBAConsulting

    Intern
    Intern

    avatar
    Joined: 20 May 2014
    Posts: 3
    Schools: HBS ’17 , Stanford ’17 , Wharton ’17 , Booth ’17 , Sloan ’17 , CBS ’17 , Tuck ’17 , Duke ’17 , Darden ’17 , McDonough ’17 , AGSM ’16 , GWU ’17



    Re: What NOT to Include in Your MBA Application Essays 

    [ #permalink ]


    Show Tags



    New post  24 Jul 2014, 20:15

    Hi MBA Hopefuls,

    I joined GMATClub in hopes of meeting those who may be in need of MBA application consulting services.

    I’ve helped applicants with GMAT scores as low as 520 access top MBA programs such as HBS, Wharton, Stanford GBS, Emory Goizueta, LBS, Duke’s Fuqua Business School, Booth, Kellogg and more.

    My approach is highly personalized. I work very closely with the applicant to understand his/her strengths, goals, weaknesses, passions, and potential as they relate to each MBA program. I also ensure that all recommendation letters are 100% consistent with the rest of your application.

    Within the first (free) 30-minute consultation, I can very quickly figure out if low GMAT scores are something we’ll be able to work around or if applicants should retake the GMAT and/or consider other MBA programs. This boils down to an applicant’s professional background and other accomplishments.

    Outside of MBA application consulting, I’m the cofounder of two startups, and am well connected in the tech startup scene for any of you who might be interested in jobs or internships.

    Thanks for listening! I look forward to hearing from you.

    Christina
    LinkedIn: linkd.in/1drpe40


    chat15

    Intern
    Intern

    avatar
    Joined: 21 May 2015
    Posts: 5



    Re: What NOT to Include in Your MBA Application Essays 

    [ #permalink ]


    Show Tags



    New post  21 May 2015, 22:22

    The discussion is very useful! Hope, it’ll help me. Thank you.


    shortstop

    Current Student

    avatar
    Joined: 02 Apr 2015
    Posts: 42
    Schools: HBS ’19 (D) , Stanford ’19 (D) , Wharton ’19 (A) , Kellogg ’19 (M) , Booth ’19 (A) , CBS ’19 (WD)

    Reviews Badge



    Re: What NOT to Include in Your MBA Application Essays 

    [ #permalink ]


    Show Tags



    New post  26 Aug 2016, 15:00

    Very useful discussion!

    Thoughts on if you would lean more towards "I would…" vs "I will…"?


    gmatbugsme84

    Senior Manager
    Senior Manager

    User avatar
    Joined: 17 Sep 2013
    Posts: 343



    Re: What NOT to Include in Your MBA Application Essays 

    [ #permalink ]


    Show Tags



    New post  31 Aug 2016, 23:27

    1

    LittleMoW wrote:
    Very useful discussion!

    Thoughts on if you would lean more towards "I would…" vs "I will…"?

    I assume that you are saying this in the context of extracurricular activities (though the below argument can also be extended to other areas).

    I am in the group that leans toward "I would" rather than "I will". "I would" indicates intention. "I will" is much stronger. Saying "I will" might lead to an adcom member or interviewer question the applicant on how is he/she so confident about the particular action. B-school being so hectic, it is impossible to commit to any extracurricular activity with certainty.

    So, I would use "I will" only if I want to convey anything with a lot of certainty.

    _________________

    My GMAT Debrief | My ISB 2015 Interview


    shortstop

    Current Student

    avatar
    Joined: 02 Apr 2015
    Posts: 42
    Schools: HBS ’19 (D) , Stanford ’19 (D) , Wharton ’19 (A) , Kellogg ’19 (M) , Booth ’19 (A) , CBS ’19 (WD)

    Reviews Badge



    Re: What NOT to Include in Your MBA Application Essays 

    [ #permalink ]


    Show Tags



    New post  01 Sep 2016, 08:10

    Thanks for the POV gmatbugsme84 !


    DavidTHere

    Intern
    Intern

    avatar
    Joined: 14 Mar 2017
    Posts: 18



    Re: What NOT to Include in Your MBA Application Essays 

    [ #permalink ]


    Show Tags



    New post  15 Mar 2017, 03:02

    Good that there is much info online about this topic. And everybody who is working on CV may check it anytime. My resume was written at Prime Writing service and I recommend you to go there too. You may be sure about the high quality of it.


    MBAbot

    Non-Human User

    User avatar
    Joined: 01 Oct 2013
    Posts: 442

    Premium Member



    Re: What NOT to Include in Your MBA Application Essays 

    [ #permalink ]


    Show Tags



    New post  12 Apr 2018, 03:00

    Hello from the GMAT Club MBAbot!

    Thanks to another GMAT Club member, I have just discovered this valuable topic, yet it had no discussion for over a year. I am now bumping it up – doing my job. I think you may find it valuable (esp those replies with Kudos).

    Want to see all other topics I dig out? Follow me (click follow button on profile). You will receive a summary of all topics I bump in your profile area as well as via email.

    gmatclubot

    GMAT Club Bot


    Re: What NOT to Include in Your MBA Application Essays &nbs
    [ #permalink ]





    12 Apr 2018, 03:00

    Print view

    First unread post


    What NOT to Include in Your MBA Application Essays


     

    new topic

    post reply


    Update application status

     


    Moderators:

    billionaire , gmatexam439 , Hatakekakashi

    LATEST POSTS

    RAGCT 2015 Day 4: The auk, because it exhibits a docile nature
    13 mins
    AdityaHongunti

    Thank you Gmatclub (and maybe a lesson for others)
    16 mins
    bb

    Calling All Wharton Applicants: 2019 Intake – Discussion
    18 mins
    gmat2mba

    Calling all Johns Hopkins candidates: (2019 Intake) Class of 2021
    19 mins
    mtnhoplite

    In strongly territorial birds such as the indigo bunting, song is the
    20 mins
    saurabhbhargava

    More Latest posts


    You are here:

    Forum Home

    Business School and MBA

    The B-School Application

    Copyright

    GMAT Club MBA Forum Home |
    About |
    Terms and Conditions and Privacy Policy |
    GMAT Club Rules |
    Contact |
    Sitemap

    Powered by phpBB © phpBB Group | Emoji artwork provided by EmojiOne

    Kindly note that the GMAT® test is a registered trademark of the Graduate Management Admission Council®, and this site has neither been reviewed nor endorsed by GMAC® .

    Main navigation

    • Home
    • GMAT Forum
    • GMAT Prep Courses
    • MBA Programs
    • Self Prep
    • GMAT Blog
    • GMAT Test
    • GMAT Wiki
    • GMAT
    • Chat
    • About
    • Contact
    • Advertise

    GMAT Resources

    • Build Your Study Plan
    • GMAT Questions
    • Best GMAT Books
    • All the GMAT Tests
    • GMAT Club Tests
    • Test Dates
    • GMAT Math
    • GMAT Verbal
    • Error Log Templates
    • GMAT Official Guide
    • GMAT Score Calculator

    Partners

    • e-GMAT
    • Economist GMAT Tutor
    • Magoosh
    • examPAL
    • Veritas Prep
    • EMPOWERgmat
    • Kaplan
    • Manhattan Prep
    • Math Revolution
    • Target Test Prep

    MBA Resources

    • Full Time MBA Rankings
    • Part Time MBA Rankings
    • International MBA Rankings
    • Best App Tips
    • Best MBA Books
    • Application Reference
    • Interviews
    • Resumes
    • Free Profile Evaluation
    • Why MBA

    Copyright © 2018 GMAT Club

    GMAT ® is a registered trademark of the Graduate Management Admission Council ® (GMAC ®). GMAT Club’s website has not been reviewed or endorsed by GMAC.

    © DeeP 2018
    Web Design & Development

    www.gmac.com | www.mba.com
    |

    |
    GMAT Club Rules
    |
    Terms and Conditions

    About the Author: admin